What a tragedy. With heavy hearts, we announce the passing

“I brought my daughter into the world and took her out of it.”

As I held Deborah’s hand as she took her last breath, I felt both sad and relieved. My beautiful whirlwind of a girl was gone, along with her pain.

Every day is hard as a mom to a dead child, but tomorrow is especially difficult. Even though one of my children has died, I’ll always be a mom of three. Today, I’m thinking about my grandchildren, Hugo and Eloise, who have lost their wonderful mother.

Five and a half years after being diagnosed with bowel cancer, my oldest daughter, Dame Deborah James, died at 40. It’s still hard to believe the world continues without her, as she was a force of nature from a young age.

Deborah was diagnosed in December 2016, at 35, with two young kids. Initially mistaken for stress or IBS, her symptoms led to a stage four cancer diagnosis. Despite this, Deborah faced her illness with bravery and determination, wanting to help others by raising awareness about cancer.

She started the Bowelbabe blog, wrote a column for The Sun, co-hosted the podcast You, Me, and the Big C, and advocated for lowering the NHS screening age. Her greatest concern was for her children, Hugo and Eloise, wishing to make the world a better place for them.

In her final weeks, she established the Bowelbabe Fund to support cancer research. Deborah’s legacy is not just in her work and the lives she saved but also in the way she lived, finding joy in every moment. She advised her children to live life fully, a mantra I try to remember.

Deborah defied the odds repeatedly, undergoing multiple treatments and surgeries. Even in her last days, she remained resilient, planning family events and spending time with loved ones. Our final seven weeks together were filled with love, sadness, and happiness.

I held her hand as she passed away, and despite the pain, I’m grateful her last moments were peaceful. The first year after her death was spent supporting her husband Seb and their kids, but I struggled with my grief, leading to panic attacks and the need for antidepressants.

This year has been better. While we miss Deborah during significant family events, we know she would want us to enjoy them. Her spirit lives on in her family and the work she did to raise awareness and funds for cancer research.